I've gotten used to locking up at night
but can't seem to keep track of the key
So loads of unexpected visitors
are part of my nightly routine
I'm not afraid of skeletons in closets, but flesh and blood aren't the same
I nearly lost my shit when in through my back door you came
Now, I'm not one for playing pussy in your cat and mouse game
To do you a solid favor, I'll snuff out your flame
So sayonara, tricky daddy-o
As goodbyes go, this one was a shame
My kitchen needed cleaning anyway-
What's one or two more sticky red stains?
I thought I'd found a stellar lover, something alien to me
You knew I needed space, but still you probed my privacy
You Jim Beamed into my window on a body snatching spree
You smothered me with kisses - now the smotherer is me!
Don't think you're Johnny Walkin' out of here
Here comes a bad old habit of mine
Not one for pillow talk: lie still my dear
While you get stiff I'll have a good time!
I've got a basement full of specimens
Those pests put on a hell of a show
So keep your mouth shut, you'll make lots of friends
This bedbug's got a long way to go!
So all these ill intentioned visitors
Become part of my pet centi-
He's part of my pet centi-
They're all part of my pet centipede!
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