1. |
Bell, Book, and Candle
02:24
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We separate them, together with their accomplices and abettors, from the precious body and blood of the Lord and from the society of all Christians; we exclude them from our Holy Mother, the Church in Heaven, and on earth; we declare them excommunicate and anathema; we judge them damned, with the Devil and his angels and all the reprobate, to eternal fire until they shall recover themselves from the toils of the devil and return to amendment and to penitence.
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2. |
Voodoo Man
03:53
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I light me up six candlesticks
To seal with wax your lyin' lips
And also turn your teeth to sand
Chew on that - oh wait, you can't
With number five I lay to waste
Your undiscriminating taste
Next time you chase the village young
Let's see how you kiss with a snake for a tongue
You've got me pins and needles
You're playing with my strings
So my sweet voodoo man
Why don't you stick with me?
Four is for the phantom limb
The arm that came and left again
Next time it's 'round a foreign form
Oops, motherfucker, there goes your arm!
Your legs are sick with wanderlust
With this third pin, wander they must
Remember next time you misbehave
A foot out my door is a foot in your grave!
You've got me pins and needles
You've pulled apart my seams
So my sweet voodoo man
Don't you fuck with me
This one's for the little you
And all the dolls you stuck it to
Too bad little you don't feel too good
Pretty soon - dead solid wood!
This one's for your crimson den
Room enough for a hundred men!
You will no more boarders please
From here on out, no vacancies!
You've got me pins and needles
It's never hurt this good before
You're at the end of my rope
And now I'm strung up yours!
You've got me pins and needles
You've pulled apart my seams
So my sweet voodoo man
Don't you fuck with me!
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3. |
Super Collyer Bros.
03:35
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Super Collyer brothers, is it easier to be
up and up and in than down and out on the street?
hurry up, pay your bills so you can give me a ring
I need your reasonable voice of insanity
it's time to make decisions, it's time for coffee or tea
with the wrench in the parlor or the French guillotine
and could anyone ever convince you to believe
that the rats are your first and foremost enemies?
Homer & Langley:
"Brother, did you get the paper?"
"I thought I'd wait till later."
"Well check the 'frigerator!"
"The one with lion's feet?"
"Yes! I think the foie-gras's rotting,"
"The debt collector's prodding,"
"And all of Harlem's plotting:"
"Perhaps we should retreat."
"Last night I thought I saw something--"
"But, brother, you cannot see..."
"The slight suggestion of spying"
"Perhaps from the street."
"I mean, I'm sure it was nothing, when it's just you and me..."
"I think I'll have a sit down!"
"Not that chair, it's the bad one!"
"Wait, what was wrong with this one?"
"Look out its--" (Langley gets booby-trapped) "...I told you!"
"The lint trap needs a dusting."
"The rat trap needs adjusting."
"Perhaps we just need some air..."
"You can't make me go out there!"
"Last night I thought I saw something--"
"But, brother, you cannot see!"
"The strong suggestion of spying."
"Perhaps from the street?"
"We can't pretend it was nothing, when it's you, rats, and me..."
"A hundred oranges a day..."
"...won't keep the doctor away."
"We've no more pianos to play:"
"The keys have rotted away"
both:
"Avoid the dread conclusion,
Know every trap's solution
Or heavy retribution
Awaits the both of us, awaits the both of us.
Always the both of us!"
(Langley is crushed to death by a booby trap. The brothers proceed to invincibility.)
Last night I thought I heard something from the house down the street
The nibble nibble of gnawing, perhaps those two creeps..
I mean, I'm sure it was nothing, didn't hear it from me.
(Ghost chorus:
"Viderunt Omnes!")
Rat chorus:
"Super Collyer brothers, is it easier to be
dead and dead and down, and now under six feet?
Thanks for eating those oranges, they made you taste so sweet!"
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4. |
Bed Bug
03:21
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I've gotten used to locking up at night
but can't seem to keep track of the key
So loads of unexpected visitors
are part of my nightly routine
I'm not afraid of skeletons in closets, but flesh and blood aren't the same
I nearly lost my shit when in through my back door you came
Now, I'm not one for playing pussy in your cat and mouse game
To do you a solid favor, I'll snuff out your flame
So sayonara, tricky daddy-o
As goodbyes go, this one was a shame
My kitchen needed cleaning anyway-
What's one or two more sticky red stains?
I thought I'd found a stellar lover, something alien to me
You knew I needed space, but still you probed my privacy
You Jim Beamed into my window on a body snatching spree
You smothered me with kisses - now the smotherer is me!
Don't think you're Johnny Walkin' out of here
Here comes a bad old habit of mine
Not one for pillow talk: lie still my dear
While you get stiff I'll have a good time!
I've got a basement full of specimens
Those pests put on a hell of a show
So keep your mouth shut, you'll make lots of friends
This bedbug's got a long way to go!
So all these ill intentioned visitors
Become part of my pet centi-
He's part of my pet centi-
They're all part of my pet centipede!
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5. |
Mary Contrary
04:45
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When you find yourself in times of troubled desperate need
Kneeled demure and down by your bed for a week
And the answers don't come
And no one ever comes
Mother always warned you of the possibilities
Of spirits in the mirror, ghosts unholy and bloody
So say your Hail Marys
'Cause trouble comes in threes
Our lady...
Our lady's plagued by a ring round her rosy
Our lady's plagued by a pocketful of posey
That she can't keep to herself, 'cause the guilt's a disease
Contrary to popular fanatic belief
If you wanna sign her contract, you're gonna have to bleed
Take it from me, satisfaction guaranteed!
Well worth your money!
Invocation:
A circle of salt and the foot of a hare
And bits of the mirror where I'm told she stared
A few drops of blood, two of yours, two of mine
Some nightshade, some mugwort, some whiskey, some wine
Put in a blender, puree for five days
A formaldehyde garnish to hide the decay
Ave Maria!
Virgo Serena!
Grazia Plena!
Here she comes!
Can you hear the silver bells and silence of the lambs?
Can you smell dead roses from the holes in her hands?
How her garden did grow, now she's beginning to show
Rashes to ashes and lust to dust
She's come to take the sinners, all the sinners like us
To the eternal charade, the infernal parade!
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